CHAPTER XCI

Privateering

1.  Now Gideon was the Chief Ruler over the Navies of the land of Jonathan, and under him were placed many Captains, who sailed out upon the sea in ships.

2.  To blockade the coasts of Dixie, and to do battle with the ships of the enemies of Jonathan.

3.  And there were also gun boats, of divers forms and curious workmanship; and these guarded the rivers, and the bays, and the coasts of the land.

4.  Now the gun boats wear mighty engines of war, and nothing like unto them, had been known before, since the world was.

5.  And it was these that made John Bull to fear, for he knew not how he could contend with such monsters of the deep.

6.  But, notwithstanding the great ships which Gideon directed, and the mighty iron clad gun boats that had been made, the power of Jonathan prevailed not greatly at sea, as it did upon the land,

7.  For many pirates and bold robbers infested the sea, to destroy merchants' ships, and to rob, and to kill.

8.  Now chief among the sea robbers, was Raphael, whose surname was Semmes, who had been a servant of Jonathan in the days of old.

9.  Now Raphael had joined himself to the cause of the Rebels, and was made Commander of the craft Sumpter.

10.  And Raphael did run the blockade, on the River Mississippi, and escaped into the open see, and followed after merchantmen that were unarmed, and robbed them, and burned them with fire.

11.  And the fame of Raphael was spread throughout many lands, and his name became a terror unto those who went out in ships.

12.  Now, at length, the Sumpter was taken out of the power of Semmes, but he himself went free, and came to the land of England.

13.  And John Bull gave into his hands the ship Alabama, and Raphael went again to see, and burned more vessels, even ten whalers, and six merchantmen, and many small trading ships.

14.  And the people of Jonathan were sore vexed, that Raphael was permitted to do these things and they complained much of the Navy, and of the Captains of it.

15.  And Gideon was troubled in his spirit, and all the sea Captains and sailors were troubled that they could not take Raphael and deal with him according as, in their vengence, they desired.

16.  Now there were many other Pirates and Privateers on the sea in those days, and the warfare that they waged, was greater than the warfare of the Regular Navy, over which Gideon did rule.

CHAPTER XCII

The Foreign Element

1.  Now the tribes of the land of Jonathan were many, for they were gathered together from all nations, and tongues, and kindreds, and peoples,

2.  Even from the uttermost parts of the earth, and from all islands of the sea, and from every land upon which the sun shineth

3.  But chief among the tribes that came from afar were the Celts and the Teutons.

4.  Now the Celts were diggers of the earth, and wielded the pick and shovel, and were much skilled in the making of ditches and the wheeling of barrows.

5.  And they bare great love unto all manner of bad whiskey, whether Rot-gut, or Bust Head, or Trip Foot; but they hated the Ethiopian, who, in their language, is called "nayger."

6.  And they read not, neither did they write, nor did it enter into their hearts to conceive of the understanding of Law and of Freedom.

7.  But they joined hands with the lovers of Clement, and drank much from the jug of the Butternut.

8.  Nevertheless, some inclined their hearts unto wisdom, and entered into the counsels of the faithful, and joined themselves unto the armies of Freedom,

9.  And went out to the battle, and won unto themselves honor, and glory, and the praise of the people, and the blessing of Heaven.

10.  Now the Teutons loved not the Celts, but clave rather unto meerschaums and lager.

11.  Yet were they swift unto battle, and loud in the praise of the Radical Captains, and down on slow men and conservative measures.

12.  And whatever things were not done according to logic Teutonic, they censured, saying, "Ah, das ist all hoompug.

13.  And the Teutons followed diligently the Gospel of John Charles, who is the husband of Jessie;  for John was Radical after the most straitest sect, and Jessie had written "Der Leibgarde."

14.  For the Teutons read books, and wrote much, and made speeches; howbeit, some said they knew not the American spirit.

15.  And Surely they imagine a vain thing, when they hope we will forsake all and go "fight mit Sigel."

16.  For the Leopard cannot change the color of his spots, nor the man his feelings--and much is plain unto the Teuton, and we cannot see it.

CHAPTER XCIII

The $300 Clause

1.  Now when the time drew nigh that had been set apart to cast lots to see who of the young men should go forth to the army,

2.  Many murmurs arose among the Copperheads, and the Butternuts, and the Traitors, and the Cowards, and those of the Celts who dwelt in the shadow of Clement.

3.  And some of the better sort raised the voice of complaint, saying, The statute that the great Sanhedrim hath made is not just.

4.  For it provideth that he who shall pay three hundred greenbacks unto the Nation, the same shall be exempted from draft, neither shall he go forth to the battle.

5.  Therefore, it will come to pass that the rich will not go forth, but will pay, every man, his three hundred greenbacks.

6.  But the poor man shall go in sadness of heart to the battle, for how shall he give that which he hath not to save him?

7.  But the Chief Rulers and the Expounders of the law gave answer, saying, Surely ye do err, not knowing the spirit of the law, which is just unto all men.

8.  For the act of Conscription is right and just in all things, sparing the son of the infirm, and the aged, and the widow, and the brother of the orphan.

9.  And it is also just, that he who payeth three hundred greenbacks shall be exempted, that the business of the land shall not be broken and injured.

10.  For it is needful that some should supply the means whereby the war may continue, and those who labor at home uphold the arm of the soldier who fighteth.

11.  Moreover, the money that the Nation obtaineth from him who chanceth to pay for exemption, shall surely be used for the hire of soldiers, for this is the law.

12.  And if there is a poor man among ye whom ye thing out not to go forth when he is drafted, but who hath not the greenbacks wherewith he may purchase exemption.

13.  Let the friends of such an one join together and pay, each one a portion, and make glad the heart of the poor man and his household.

14.  For blessed is he that giveth, and ye should thank the Wise Men of the Sanhedrim that they have made a just law, which enableth you to show forth your good works.

CHAPTER XCIV

Black Troops

1.  When the Ethiopians knew that they might go forth, even as a white man goeth, and enter into the army, and fight for the freedom of their people.

2.  They waited not, but came with all haste, both those who dwelt in the North, and the contrabands who had been in bondage.

3.  And they joined themselves into companies of tens, and of hundreds, and Captains were placed over them.

4.  And the troops of the Ethiopians multiplied exceedingly, and they gathered in wrath against the hosts of the Rebels, even as dark clouds gather before a storm breaketh.

5.  An the Rebels were enraged greatly when they knew how the Ethiopians gathered against them, for they had done the Ethiopians wrong, and them they both hated and feared.

6.  For they remembered the days of old, even the days of the great Revolution, and the many battles that the Ethiopians had fought;

7.  The fights on the Lakes of Champlain and of Erie, and in the land of Florida, and at Schuylkill, and at Horse Show Bend, and Pensacola, and New Orleans.

8.  And the Rebels sware vengeance on such of the Ethiopians as they should take captive, saying, Let us sell them again into bondage.

9.  And they did even as they had sworn, and whatsoever Ethiopian soldier fell captive into their hands they sold into bondage.

10.  But if the captive resisted the might of the Rebels, and refused to go into bondage, him they scourged with many strips, until he yielded submission.

11.  And if any captive yielded nt submission when he was scourged, him they slew, for their hearts were hardened, even as the heart of Pharaoh.

12.  Now when it was known in the North that the Rebels sold unto bondage the captives that they had taken from among the Ethiopians,

13.  And had also scourged them, and put the to death shamefully:--the Rulers of the North said, Verily, these things must not be so.

14.  Bu surely, if these Rebels do this wicked thing to our people, we will visit our vengeance upon them, and do violence to the captives that we have taken from the tribes of the land of Dixie.

CHAPTER XCV

East and West

1.  Now the Devil spake unto the Copperheads of Egypt and of the Pocket, saying, Behold, ye are foolish and blind that ye cleave unto the Yankees of the East.

2.  For, of a truth, the Yankees are well skilled in all manner of subtlety, and they plot against ye that they may gain great power, and rule over you.

3.  Seek ye, therefore, to separate yourselves from them, and go not into their counsels any more, but make unto yourselves a distinct nation.

4.  And let the nation, that ye shall erect, be called the North-Western Confederacy, and I and my servant Clement will rule over it.

5.  Now the Copperheads of Egypt and of the Pocket were pleased with this thing that the Devil had said, and they told it unto the Knights, and the Knights also were well pleased.

6.  Then goeth the Devil to the Amy of the Cumberland, and saith, Behold, oh soldiers, ye are mostly men of the West, and surely ye desire the prosperity of your country.

7.  See, therefore, to flee away from your tents and come unto the North-West, and join yourselves unto me, and unto Clement, and the Copperheads, and we will greatly magnify the North-West and create of it a new nation.

8.  And we will separate ourselves from the Yankees of the East, who are an abomination unto us.

9.  And surely it is a shame unto you also, that ye cleave unto the Yankees, for do they not despise your language and manners, and do they not revile ye in that your boots are not blackened?

10.  Moreover, they fight not, but are cowards, and give unto you the heat and the burden of the battle, but they themselves take the greenbacks.

11.  Come ye, therefore, out from among them, and ye shall have whiskey without money, and without price, and Abraham shall no longer be your Ruler, but I myself will be your leader, and Clement also shall come and assist me.

12.  Now when the soldiers heard what the Devil desired, there arose a great swearing, like unto which had not entered into the imagination of the Devil.

13.  And the curses of the soldiers exploded like bombshells, and fell upon the Devil in hundreds of millions, so that he cried aloud, with a voice like unto thunder,

14.  Oh, that I were in the midst of the lake of burning, for the heat of these oaths is worse than fires infernal, and even seven times hotter than the hottest fires of Hades.

15.  And after many days, when the Devil recovered, so that he could come again unto the land of Egypt, he crawled in the midst of the Copperheads.

16.  And they spake unto him, saying, How is it with thee, Master, and what news bringeth thou from the army.

17.  And the Devil was silent, and the Copperheads were sore perplexed, and they spake again unto him saying, Master, speak unto us, and say how prospereth our cause, and when shall the North-West become a new Nation.

18.  Then spake the Devil unto the Copperheads, Go ye, every one, to his place, for full surely is this new Nation played out.

19.  And the Copperheads went away sorrowful, and came each one of his own place, and abode there.

20.  But the Devil went to Canada and took lodgings with Clement, even under the aegis of the Lion of Britain.

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